Sunday, November 24, 2013

Ram-Leela blamed for Narendra Modi Speech Slip Ups

After his latest mistake wherein Narendra Modi referred to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi as Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi, sources close to him have finally revealed the reason behind this recent series of gaffes. "Modi Sir is not in a correct state of mind these days. He barely eats and sleeps, his entire mind is preoccupied with one thing, and one thing only." said Prempreet Pyaare, a BJP aide.  "You see we were asked to keep quiet about this, but those smart asses over at the Youth Congress sending us old 10th class history textbooks was the final straw.”

Prempreet Pyaare continued
“Around a month ago Modi Sir received an invitation from that Sanjay Leela Bhansaali to watch a special screening of Ram-Leela. Sir had his doubts, especially after watching Saawariya, but since the film is set in Gujrat he had no choice but to go.” When this faking news reporter questioned why he had gone to watch Saawariya in the first place, Mr Pyaare replied, “Back then there were many who were saying that the Modi Idealogy was too saffron and since it was pretty clear at the time that Saawariya was the blue film to see, Sir decided to give it a go. He’s been staunchly saffron ever since.”

“Everything started going downhill from that point of time onwards. You see the fulcrum of our campaign is progress; and this Ram-Leela is the antithesis to this very concept. It….just…doesn’t…..progress. There’s this one scene where this lady keeps on running for like 10-15 minutes where a simple 2 minute run would have sufficed. There are so many unnecessary songs. All this hamper the development of the film! Sir has been shaken to the core after watching this film. And to think this picture is set in Gujrat. We all know how much he loves Gujrat!!!!! (Mr. Pyaare insisted on the extra exclamation marks). It’s completely thrown him off his game. Actually he almost broke down when Sanjay Leela Bhansaali asked him to list the film as one of the shining achievements of Gujrat.”

There has been some speculation in the BJP camp that this film is a clever ploy by the Congress to derail the Modi Juggernaut.  “Somebody should examine this film’s financing ledgers. From where did this Bhansaali get so much money to build such ostentatious sets and surroundings?  There is something definitely fishy going on here.” declared Prempreet Pyaare.

Meanwhile Rahul Gandhi was quick to rebut, “Hah!! This is just another underhand ploy by the BJP. Have you not seen this film?! It’s completely saffron in hue. Diggy uncle told me that Bhansaali is a RSS agent. By using all that orange he’s subliminally influencing the aam aadmi’s mind. Modi messes up because he is a foolish man. And unlike me he doesn’t have the oratory experience and skill of mummy, didi and Diggy Uncle to bank upon.”

“Potato.” Digvijay Singh added.